= how much it’s costing my husband and I to do the 4 day Martha Stewart Body and Soul detox for week 1 of the Body and Soul challenge.
Sorry AEP, we can’t pay our electric bill this month, because Martha says that I need to detox in order to be healthy. Martha seriously said that everyone MUST have a juicer on her show this past week. She said, “If you don’t have a juicer, you need to buy one immediately.” This got me wondering – What’s her demographic? Rich, white women. Sadly, I only fit half this category.
I debated whether or not I was going to participate in the Body and Soul challenge. I didn’t receive my magazine in the mail even though I’m a subscriber, so I have a bone to pick with Martha. I got my husband to pick up a copy of the magazine for $4.99 after I saw two Martha shows devoted to this challenge. Even though I make fun of people who do these ridiculous juice diets, I knew that I had to do it if I was taking this project seriously.
Unfortunately for my husband, he’s along for the ride, so he’ll also be participating in the challenge. I would curse him out if he was eating a juicy cheeseburger as I choked down carrot, beet, cabbage, and watercress juice (Ewww - even Martha said this was gross). Of course, he’s not doing it without complaining. He probably said, “Tell Martha I hate her,” at least five times while we shopped for groceries today. (Don’t worry Martha – he’ll come around when I start making cupcakes and pies again.)
Our one month Body and Soul challenge starts tomorrow with a 4 day detox diet which includes liquid breakfasts and dinners and plain salmon, buckwheat noodles and veggie lunches. We’re only allowed to have berries and raw veggies as snacks during the day. How yummy does that sound? I already have a headache thinking about it and my husband downed a shot of bourbon when we got home from the store. This challenge is supposed to make us less stressed – it’s failing so far.
The only other thing week 1 calls for is 30 minutes of gentle exercise such as yoga, stretching or leisurely walking. I can do that part. But I’m pretty sure I’m going to be on my hands and needs begging for a Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich with mayo and fries by day two.
Before the challenge we were supposed to test our fitness, but after that stressful shopping trip we both decided that we would fall into the poor category anyway. So what’s the point of getting hot and sweaty and having to take another shower? I blew out my hair today – it’s so not happening. According to the fitness assessment, someone in my age category (by the way, I’m no longer in the first age category from 18-25 which makes me depressed) should be able to do more than 36 push-ups before her muscles become exhausted to be in the good category. Is that a misprint? Who the heck can do that many push-ups? I want to see Martha do that many push-ups in a row.