Rating 1-10: 2 (1 = Makes me wanna vomit, 10 = Could I please have this for breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day)
I woke up this morning at 6 am even thought my tonsils are swelling and I’m about to get another case of tonsillitis to make breakfast quinoa (pronounced ˈkēn-ˌwä – say it a few times, it’s fun) from the February 2010 edition of Martha Stewart Living. I hate to say it, but Martha’s losing me. A good number of the recipes I’ve tried within the last week have been disappointing (or gross), and I expect more from the one and only Martha Stewart.
One of the things that Whole Living (a part of the Martha Stewart website) recommended as a New Year’s resolution was to eat more quinoa (and I made it one of my goals). First, I had to figure out what quinoa was. According to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary it’s “an annual herb of the goosefoot family.” Hmmm, that doesn’t sound appealing nor help me understand what the heck it is.
If I were to write my own definition of quinoa, it would be “coarse yellowish grains that turn opaque when cooked and taste like tiny plastic beads.” Guess who’s not fulfilling this goal? If you’re not following along, that would be me. At least I tried it. It’s not happening again.
The first couple of bites were kind of masked by the blueberries, cinnamon, and light brown sugar. The thing I couldn’t get past was the consistency and texture. After the first few bites, I was struggling to keep going and keep it down. My belly ached afterwards. This is a true measure to tell whether something is edible: give it to my husband. He HATES when we waste food. He’ll eat food just because it’s about to expire and if I don’t like something, I’ll give it to him and he’ll eat it even if he doesn’t really like it. He wouldn’t finish his breakfast quinoa (he’s not finished his meal like twice in our almost 6 year relationship) and he wouldn’t go near the rest of mine. That’s settled. Quinoa sucks. The only reason it got a 2 instead of a 1 was because I didn’t want to vomit until the fourth or fifth bite.